


The Prophecy but the Heroes are Self-Aware

by bimothra



Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self-Aware
Genre: I mean... kinda, M/M, Super Paper Mario AU, benrey’s a clown!, haha special interest go brrrrr, kinda a fantasy AU if you squint, sad gay people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:54:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bimothra/pseuds/bimothra
Summary: A man torn from his lover. A fair and noble prince. A monster king. The One Free Man. These are the four heroes described in the Light Prognosticus- only they can use the power of the Pure Hearts to dispel the world of the Chaos Heart- and fix a count’s broken heart.
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57





	The Prophecy but the Heroes are Self-Aware

spmvrai fic lets goooooo

*Ahem* Are you a fan of... stories, at all?

There are many purposes a story can serve.

It can delight, and entertain...

It can teach, and warn.

Or it can simply... relay information.

Today, our story is... of the lost book of prophecies.

This prophetic book was a mysterious tome... full of stories of future events. 

Of course, many people craved this book, wishing to glimpse their futures.

But no person, after discovering this amazing book... EVER found happiness. 

The reason? The book held frightful secrets... not meant for peoples’ eyes.

That book came to be known as the Dark Prognosticus and was sealed away. 

This... is the tale of that forgotten book’s last owner.

It is a tale full of people I care about very much.

It is a tale... of love. 

———————————————————

White.

Everything was white.

Gordon groaned, lifting his upper body up as best as he could. He blinked once or twice, adjusting his glasses and blinking quickly to get the sleep out of his eyes.

Okay, so everything was white because the floor was white. The lighting was bright, and he had been unconscious on the floor.

Got it!

Now...what else was happening? He got up, dusting himself off, and only then did he realize he was surrounded by a legion of goombas, Koopa Troopas, Magikoopas...

All these minions in this giant banquet hall... If he didn’t know any better, he’d guess the Koopa king was getting married or something!

...Gordon looked up past the sea of minions to see the central platform of the hall, high up in the air with an impossibly large amount of stairs preceding it.

There, at the altar, was prince Tommy. The other person, though his back was turned to Gordon, was easily recognizable- there was only person he knew with a green, spiked shell.

Darnold. 

Was this another one of his plans? It seemed a bit... Much, even for him. Usually Darnold would show up at Tommy’s doorstep, begging for diplomatic discussion, and when things didn’t go his way, he’d just kidnap him for a few days or so- Gordon would rescue him, if he wasn’t so afraid of lava, and monsters, and giant spiky Koopas... 

Gordon shook off his premature jitters, looking back at Tommy. He was beautiful in that long, white wedding dress he was currently wearing, and he seemed to be just waking up, too...

“Ugh... where am I?” Tommy looked up, meeting the eyes of Darnold, who was adjusting parts of his white tux. “GAH! D-Darnold?! What- What’s going on?”

“What’s going on? Why, is it not obvious? This is your WEDDING, prince!”  
A third, unknown figure spoke up, adjusting his glasses. He had a sardonic smirk that revealed his dagger-sharp teeth, with cold, blue skin and eyes like fire. His elegance was emphasized by a strikingly villainous hat and cape- a suspicious figure indeed. 

“Wedding?! But why am I marrying Darnold...?” Tommy looked back nervously at his apparent groom, who blushed.

“I mean... if you’d have me?” Darnold smiled nervously. “The count over here’s apparently gone through a lot of trouble planning this...” He tugged at his bow tie. 

“But... I mean, you’re nice and all, but something about this seems... Wrong! I can’t marry y-“ 

Tommy was knocked back by what seemed like a cascade of glowing red squares. He fell to the floor with a whine, as some high heels click-clacked onto the altar.

“Yeah, about that... you’re a funny little prince, princey, but ‘no’ isn’t really an option here. Just say yes to the nice turtle man and we can all be on our way, ‘kay?” A snide-looking person sneered, coming to stand near the count. Their hair was drawn up into a bun, aside from the stray bangs here and there. Their eyes were a piercing red, so bright that even looking at them would make you want to cower in fear.

“Guhh... Nuh-no... Darnold, something fishy’s going on here! You have to believe me-!” 

The secretarial person adjusted their glasses once more, the sheen knocking Tommy back down and increasing the number of hostile red squares surrounding him.

“Ugh... Your determination is interesting, but I really can’t be dealing with this. You say no, and my super-hypnosis says otherwise. Just make this easy for yourself and MARRY HIM.”

Darnold scratched at his throat nervously. “...Actually, I’m starting to get second thoughts too-“

The secretary gave him a glare, and he knew immediately- it was either saying yes, or saying yes (pain edition). Darnold had always been a bit of a doormat... He gulped. It didn’t feel right, but what other choice did he have?

The count cleared his throat. “Do you, Darnold, monster king of the Koopas, take this prince to be your lawfully wedded husband? ‘til your games be over?”

Darnold, already too uncomfortable to shoot down the ‘monster’ definition, quietly muttered a quick “I do”. 

“And you... Tommy, fair prince of noble heart... do you take Darnold to be your lawfully wedded husband, ‘til your games be over?” The count asked, glancing at Tommy. 

The prince pushed himself up, hanging onto the altar as his eyes shone red to match the secretary’s. “I... I do...” 

Tommy fell to the floor once more, Darnold rushing to his side. The altar let out a brilliant black glow, a pristine heart-shaped object slowly rising from below.

“At last... at long, long, last! The Chaos Heart reveals itself to me!” The count cackled, his sharp teeth only making his laughter even more ominous.

Gordon’s eyes widened. What he had just witnessed was... troubling, to say the least. Tommy was... and then Darnold... 

And that heart...

There was a familiar feeling, deep within his gut, as the shimmering heart captured all his attention. Was this déjà vu?

...It must be. He’d never seen that heart before in his life! Gordon shook it off, using his signature Gordon sprint to climb the stairs as quickly as he could.

“HEY! I don’t know what’s going on here, mister, but nobody messes with my friend while I’m around!” Gordon said, trying to ignore the cowardly tremble in his voice. 

“...And who are you supposed to be?” The count asked dryly, adjusting his glasses. 

“Ohhh no, I don’t give my name to scoundrels!” Gordon smirked. “Now just watch as Gordon punishes you for your badness!” 

The secretary clenched their fists together, hissing. “Yeah, that’s great and all, but if you ruin this for us, so help me Grambi, I am throwing you DOWN this flight of stairs.”

“HERE I GO!!” Gordon leapt for it, foot connecting with the Chaos Heart. It was like an electric shock coursed through him for the moment he made contact with it, and then, as he flew off it, the feeling was gone. What a dark object...

Gordon slid onto the altar, standing defensively near Tommy and Darnold- however, his heroic expression was quickly flushed out by the secretary’s murderous glare. Before either of them could make a move, however, the room was filled with a piercing hum, and a bright white light. 

The world went back to being visible, and Gordon glanced upwards only to see the count and his secretary hovering way out of his reach.

“You doing alright there, count? That was quite a scare the poor fool gave us,” the secretary said haughtily.

“Fool!” The count repeated, speaking down to the people on the altar. “Stupid acts like that will only earn you pain... from Count Bubby!”  
“And now that I’ve secured the Chaos Heart... this yeehaw is no longer of use to me.”

“This is exciting!” The secretary chirped, rubbing their hands together eagerly. “Now you can really turn a new page in the dark prophecies.”

“Come, darkness!” Count Bubby exclaimed. “Swallow all worlds whole and destroy them, as told in the prophecy!”

Gordon shielded his eyes. The light from the Chaos Heart was blinding, and he could feel himself losing consciousness.

No! He had to... he needed to... Somehow.. stay awake...

Gordon fell to his knees, falling unconscious as Tommy and Darnold did as well. 

The world, once again, went white.

**Author's Note:**

> i won’t go into detail bc i know i’ll forget to change this after i make this multi-chapter but please go watch a let’s play of super paper mario i love it so much.


End file.
